I Hate You
by GreyEyesBlackHeart
Summary: There are many versions of how James and Lily finaly ended up together. This is one of them. Who knew that Lily Evans would finally break in the library, with a drunk James Potter to top it all off? ONE SHOT. J/L drabble. Rated T for minor swearing. Please R&R!


**I Hate You**

"Potter get off me! What in Merlin's name are you doing you utter mongrel?!"

"Sorry Evans. I fell," the assaulted boy slurred as he tried to sit up, only succeeding in further tangling his gangly limbs in her robes. He scowled at the offending garment and tried to move off once again, his blurry senses not quite obedient to the signals of his brain (not that the signals in his brain really wanted him to hurry out of his current position: sprawled on top of the angry redhead.)

"Potter get the fuck off of me!"

"Lily Evans did you just swear?"

"Shut it Potter, you're drunk."

"What does me being slightly plastered have to do with your potty mouth Miss Evans?"

"Slightly plastered? _Slightly_ plastered? Potter you're not slightly plastered! You are utterly and completely, head over arse, sloshed."

"Will you look at that! She's swearing again."

"Potter I am warning you-"

"S'fine Evans I'm leaving. Don't burst an artery, yah?"

Lily Evans huffed in annoyance as a very inebriated James Potter rolled off her and stood up, quickly staggering back into the crowd of Gryffindors that was currently celebrating a magnificent loss against Ravenclaw. It showed a lot of her house's positive attitude that they were celebrating a loss; either that or they were all just helpless drunks. She'd like to think it was the former but, as half of the house was currently under the effects of firewhiskey, she was inclined to believe the latter. A resounding crack called her attention as she dusted off her robes, her head turned, and there he was again: in the middle of a circle of laughing students James Potter was lying on the ground, next to a toppled over lamp he had apparently tried to lean on. She groaned, he was supposed to be the Head Boy!

"You need to get your wand out of your arse Evans darling."

"Lovely Black, but the insult sort of contradicts the charm," the Head Girl muttered bitterly as Sirius Black shuffled closer to where she was standing. Once he was close enough to talk to her without having to raise his voice he stopped, and swayed slightly in his place. "Please don't tell me you're drunk too. I've had enough of interacting with alcoholic teenagers."

"And that right there is exactly what I'm talking about."

"I do not have my wand up my arse Black, I just stick to the rules, nothing wrong with that is there?"

Black coughed conspicuously, making it all too easy to understand the "boring" he had been trying to hide. Lily scowled at him and turned to walk away.

"Come on Evans! James has been brilliant this year and you still find reasons to hate him! Give the lad a break yeah?"

"Brilliant? In what world does drunkenly mauling me classify as brilliant Black?"

"He just tripped Evans; drunken people aren't always the picture of grace and balance y'know."

"Don't mock me Black."

She'd had enough. Enough talking to drunk students and arguing about her fellow Head (not that he was acting like so at the moment). She turned on her heel and exited the common room, slamming the portrait door on her way out. Ignoring the insulted Fat Lady she strode away from the Gryffindor tower and set off towards the library, which was the only place she knew was guaranteed to be empty, seeing as it was a Saturday night after Quidditch.

As she slid to the floor of the dusty Charms section Lily Evans sighed, allowing herself to think thoughts she would never verbalize, or fully admit to herself. Merlin, it was just like her to get landed into a predicament so absurd. One moment she had been walking calmly towards the girl's dormitories and the next she was being trampled by none other than James Potter. Without even realizing it, Potter had ruined her whole evening, in which she had planned to read a Muggle novel and try to ignore the mayhem in the common room. Now she was in the library. At night. On Saturday. Honestly, she knew she never went out or anything of the sort but this was a bit too much.

"The library Evans? How disgustingly predictable."

"What are you doing here Black?"

"I am being a good mate." He announced proudly, beaming at her as she grumbled in annoyance.

"Since when are we mates?"

"Not a good mate to you Evans. A good mate to James."

As if it were completely normal for Sirius Black of all people to be in the library on a weekend, or any day of the week for that matter, he slid down to sit in front of her and started to talk. "Look Evans-" he began, but Lily zoned out after just those two words. She didn't want to listen, she didn't want to talk, she bloody well didn't want to think, thank you very much.

James Potter was a topic she would really rather not understand. Mainly because she knew that the day she understood him would be the death of her. If she was being completely honest, she didn't hate him; not anymore. It was impossible to do so after spending the first four months of her seventh year working in close proximity to him.

"Evans are you even listening to me?"

Oh bugger.

"Yeah! Uh…. Sure. What was that again?" She could feel the blush spreading across her cheeks as the grey eyed marauder rolled his eyes. He still smelled a bit like alcohol but he hadn't been drinking as much as Potter, so said grey eyes were barely unfocused and his mind was perfectly sharp still; probably due to years of alcohol consumption which had helped him develop quite a large tolerance for it.

"Bloody hell Evans figure it out yourself. I don't even understand his fixation on you. Don't get me wrong, you're a perfectly alright bird but, I maintain you have a wand a bit too far up your behind, and you're mad. That too."

"Gee, thanks Black."

"You're welcome m'lady," he chanted, taking a bow as he stood up. Lily rolled her eyes. He rolled them right back and turned to leave. "Just ease up on Prongs Lilykins. He's giving me headaches." With that parting phrase, Black ruffled her hair and left her alone.

She groaned as he sauntered out the door with a grin on his face. Raising her pale hands to her head, she tried to flatten her hair, succeeded in making it even frizzier, and eventually gave up, groaning once again. Closing her eyes she thought of Potter. He was definitely not the arrogant boy she thought he was in fifth year, and it had slowly dawned on her during the past months that he never had been that boy. His head was as inflated as a hot air balloon, true, but he was honest to a fault, kind to most, and exceptionally loyal. His smile was bright every single time he wore it and he let his heart hang on his sleeve. Not in a girly sentimental way, but in the sense that you could always tell what he was feeling, even with that he was infallibly honest. If James Potter was angry, you could tell; if he was happy, you could easily see it too. He didn't hide, he was carefree, he ran head first into anything he liked and once he set his mind to something Merlin help whoever got in the way.

She envied his positive attitude, his friendships (even though he was kind to most, there were only three people James actually considered friends, and they were closer than any brothers she had ever seen), his intelligence, his snarky wit, and his disregard for any type of rules or directions. He could infuriate her as much as he could make her laugh and…she had been thinking about him for at least fifteen minutes. "Get a grip Evans." She ordered herself, taking deep breaths and glaring at the books in front of her.

She closed her eyes again after a few minutes and soon thoughts of the aforementioned Head Boy and Quidditch captain filled her head again. "Bloody perfect wanker," Lily growled rubbing her closed eyes tiredly.

"You flatter me Evans."

Her eyes flew open in shock to look at the new intruder, even though she could have recognized the teasing tone even completely blinded.

"I thought I'd told you to go be a nuisance somewhere else Potter."

"Actually love, you just told me to 'get the fuck off'- in a rather charming manner I might add- and since I am nowhere near touching your person at the moment you honestly can't complain."

If Lily wasn't in such a shit mood she might have laughed; but she was in a shit mood, and said mood happened to have a direct correlation to the previously assigned "perfect wanker" now sitting beside her, so instead of laughing, she socked his arm and glared, muttering a carefully structured chain of colourful insults.

"Oh come on Red, I came all the way here to talk to you!" James exclaimed, rubbing his arm in mock pain.

"Well I didn't ask you to come bother me. You're drunk, and irritating, and…drunk. Go away."

"No."

"You are such a bother Potter."

"You'd be terribly bored without me."

"I'd be perfectly tranquil actually." She answered coolly, ignoring the guilty squirm inside her as she recognized his statement as the truth in her head. She really could not comprehend how she had hated this bloke just five months ago.

"Tranquil, Evans; is no fun at all."

"Shut it Potter. We made rules at the beginning of the year remember? No annoying each other was one of them. You're annoying me. Leave."

"Oh rules shmrules Lily. Those are made to be broken."

"Says the Head Boy!" she retorted, huffing at his persistence.

"That, love, is just a title."

"Leave me alone Potter. Don't you have better things to do?"

"Define better." The hazel-eyed boy inquired with a focused look on his face. Or a close as he could manage to focused in his present state. Lily was looking for a sassy answer inside her head but he had moved closer during the conversation, and their arms were brushing. He was staring at her as if he actually cared about her answer (which was quite an accomplishment since his eyes were still glazed from the alcohol), and before she could control her mouth, she was practically screeching the truth at him. Her voice rising in pitch rather dangerously as her insecurities came rushing out of her mouth.

"Better Potter! Snogging sixth years, laughing with your mates, bloody anything but me! Something more relaxed, less stiff, funnier! Something more _you_!"

There was a pause. James seemed startled by her outburst but he composed quickly.

"More me? Lily what are you on about?"

"You know what I'm ruddy talking about Potter! You are crazy and carefree and positive and a laugh even when you don't want to be! You live as you want to live not as people tell you you should! You're a complete mess, utterly uncontrollable and so full of energy it's impossible not to get intoxicated by it when you're near! I'm not like that James! I stick to the rules! I pay attention! I work hard! I never do anything unexpected! On a scale of one to plain I am downright boring and - in the lovely words of your best mate - 'I have my wand up my arse' and I have no idea how to change that."

She ended her speech without even half the rage she had started it with, her eyes were prickling with tears she refused to shed, her hands balled into fists as she panted, feeling the heat in her face extend rapidly to her neck. Suddenly, Lily wasn't angry anymore. She was embarrassed. In fact, she probably had never been more embarrassed in her seventeen years of existence. Why did she have to go and spit her guts to James Potter of all people?

She groaned for what seemed like the thousandth time that night and buried her head into her hands, curling herself into a ball, resolved to stay in that scrunched position until Potter got bored and left her alone, and maybe a few eons after that. Just as she was seeing her life as a miserable cat lady engulfed in her own self-pity, he finally spoke.

"You called me James."

"Honestly out of all of the things you could have commented on from that onerous monologue you choose yo-"

"Lily be quiet!"

"Don't you tell me to be qui-"

"Shut up or I do it for you Lil."

"Why?" she whined, admiring how fast he had sobered up after her emotional mosh pit became his business. She had begun to hope that he would forget everything she had just shrieked at him by the next day, but the look in his eyes now let her know that the chances of that were small to nil. Fuck.

"The reason you need to shut up Lily, is that sometimes it's good to shut up; and you never do you madwoman! Not even inside your head! You think things over until they all look like chewed droobles! Gross, sticky, and generally unpleasant. Honestly half the time your conclusions make no sense!"

"I do not make my thoughts look like chewed droobles _Potter_!"

"On a scale of one to plain you marked yourself utterly boring _Evans_!"

Lily grunted and frowned at him with as much contempt as she could muster. Chewed droobles, pah! She would show him chewed droobles, she would show him chewed droobles and stick them in his hair. Bloody prat.

"Lily," he sighed, running his hands through his wildly stubborn black hair, which was ironically occupying her thoughts at that very moment, "you're not boring, and you're not plain. You stick to the rules and pay attention but there is honestly nothing wrong with that! If you didn't do those things, if there wasn't at least a small bit of wand up your lovely arse- ouch! I am comforting you, you minx! Don't maim me, honestly there's no need to punch!" James glared at her, sighed and continued.

"As I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me, if there was not even a little bit of wand up you _amazing_ arse, you just wouldn't be Lily Evans."

He stopped talking as she shook her head at him, trying to stifle a smile with all her might. The smile was stopped, but her lips still inched upwards at the corners and judging by his satisfied grin, James had noticed. She rolled her eyes at him and fidgeted in her place, wondering if it was time to verbalize some of those thoughts she'd had earlier. Maybe they weren't so bad. Maybe she should say something, do something.

"As to your worries about unexpected moments," James continued, sliding closer to her on the floor, "there is always a chance to do something unexpected. You haven't before but that doesn't mean you have to give up now. Start doing something different, surprise people. It's not hard. Not hard at all. In fact- "

"Shut it Potter."

She was looking directly at him now, a smirk set on her lips as his brow furrowed, wondering what he had done wrong.

"Lily don't get angry! I was just being honest and- what did I do?"

"I said shut it Potter. You are ruining my moment."

"And what may that moment be exactly?" he questioned, raising his eyebrows at her in surprise.

"_I_ am about to do something unexpected."

"And exactly what is that unexpec-"

That's when she kissed him.

A Saturday night, in the library while the entire population of Hogwarts was either sleeping or still attempting to drown themselves in firewhiskey, Lily Evans and James Potter were kissing.

In the first two seconds of the kiss, Lily found out that the rumours about James Potter and his snogging skills were, in fact, true. You could say whatever you wanted about him, but he was a brilliant kisser. She had thought about this in her head millions of times (she had also denied it was ever going to happen billions of times but that was rather irrelevant at the moment). She was tired of thinking, tired of over-analysing everything in her life, for once she was letting go and she was glad it was Potter, of all people, who had talked her into it. His lips felt like fire against hers, his hands were caressing the sides of her face while hers where entwined in his hair, stroking the smooth strands and making it even messier than it usually was. By the time they came up for air they were both breathless, her heart was thumping in her chest and she could hear his do the same across from her. His eyes were shining, as if he wasn't sure this was happening just yet. She grinned and pecked his lips one more time, just to convince him that he wasn't dreaming.

James looked at her in awe, as if he wanted to memorize her face in that moment forever. She blushed under his intense gaze, finally realizing the repercussions of what she had just done. She looked down at her hands, twisting her fingers nervously and refusing to meet his gaze again. Moments later, she felt a warm finger under her chin, slowly guiding her face upwards. She reluctantly looked at him and realized that his awe had turned into a full-fledged triumphant smile. She groaned in faux misery as her lips began to stretch to mirror his.

"You're never going to let me live this down are you? I will forever be the prat that snogged you first."

His smile only widened at her fake gloom and he nuzzled his nose against hers. "I knew you would bite eventually, you couldn't run from me forever."

"I hate you Potter."

"Oi! What happened to 'James'?!"

She laughed, feeling the usual tension in her muscles loosen as she sat in his arms.

"I hate you James."

He smiled and hugged her closer, tucking her head into his chest and leaning back into a bookshelf.

"That's my girl Evans. Keep it up love."


End file.
